Breaking Family Ties Is Haraam: 13 Islamic Teachings on Silah-Rihmi

Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ has said in the Holy Quran:

وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ

Fear Allah in Whose name you ask (your rights from one another) and be mindful of your (blood) relationships.

[Kanz-ul-Iman (Translation of Quran)] (Part 4, An-Nisa, verse 1)

Regarding the foregoing verse, it is stated in Tafseer Mazhari: That is, refrain from breaking off relations.

(Tafseer Mazhari, vol. 2, pp. 3)

Seven sayings of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ

1.     One believing in Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ and the Judgement Day should treat relatives with kindness.

(Sahih Bukhari, vol. 4, pp. 136, Hadees 6138)

2.     On the Day of Judgement, three types of people will be under the shade of the ‘Arsh of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ. One who treats relatives with kindness (will be among them).

(Al-Firdaus bima Saur-ul-Khattab, vol. 2, pp. 99, Hadees 2526)

3.     The one who breaks off relations will not enter Heaven.

(Sahih Bukhari, vol. 4, pp. 97, Hadees 5984)

4.     The best among all people is the one who recites the Holy Quran in abundance, adopts more piety, calls [people] towards righteousness and prevents [them] from evils the most and treats his relatives with kindness the most.’

(Musnad Imam Ahmad, vol. 10, pp. 402, Hadees 27504)

5.     Without doubt, the most preferred Sadaqah is the one that is given to a relative who holds concealed enmity.

(Ibid, vol. 9, pp. 138, Hadees 23589)

6.     If there is a relation-severing person among a community, mercy of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ does not descend there.

(Az-Zawajir, vol. 2, pp. 153)

7.     One who likes that a palace for him be built in Heaven and that his ranks be raised, should forgive the one who oppresses him, bestow the one who deprives him, and establishes relation with one who breaks relations with him.

(Al Mustadrak, vol. 3, pp. 12, Hadees 3215)

·        Sayyiduna Faqih Abul Lays Samarqandi عَلَيْهِ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَالْقَوِى has stated: There are ten virtues of treating relatives with kindness: It brings about the pleasure of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ. It pleases people. It delights angels. It earns you praise from Muslims. It upsets Satan. It increases age. It brings blessings in sustenance. It pleases the deceased forefathers (i.e. the Muslim father and grandfather). It fosters harmony. It increases reward after demise because people make Du’a for such a person.

(Tanbih-ul-Ghafileen, pp. 73)

·        It is stated on pages 558 to 560 of the 3rd volume of the 1196-page book Bahar-e-Shari’at published by Maktaba-tul-Madinah, publishing department of Dawat-e-Islami: صِلَةِ رَحِم (Silah-Rihm) implies establishing relations, i.e. doing relatives any favour and treating them with kindness. The entire Ummah is agreed that Silah-Rihm is Wajib and breaking off relations is Haraam. Which are the relatives that must be treated with kindness as a Wajib obligation? Some scholars have stated that they are ‘Zu-Rihm Mahram’ and some other stated that they are Zu-Rihm relatives regardless of whether they are Mahram or not. Apparently,the latter ruling is more accurate. Ahadees contain an unconditional order of treating relatives with kindness. The Holy Quran also unconditionally stated ذَوِى الْقُرْبَى (i.e. the relatives).

However, as there are different levels of relations, there are also different levels of treating relatives with kindness. Parents have the greatest status. After them is the status of ‘Zu-Rihm Mahram’ (i.e. the relatives marriage is Haraam with forever due to Nasabi [i.e. genealogical] relation with them). After them is the status of the rest of relatives, depending upon how close relationship they have.

(Rad-dul-Muhtar, vol. 9, pp. 678)

·        One can treat his relatives with kindness in different ways. For example, giving them gifts, providing them help if they need it, saying Salam to them, meeting them, talking to them and treating them gracefully and nicely.

(Durad, vol. 1, pp. 323)

·        If a person is in a foreign country, he should remain in correspondence with his relatives so that relationship is not broken off. If possible, he should come to his country so that ties with his relatives are strengthened. This will also develop harmony among relatives.

(Rad-dul-Muhtar, vol. 9, pp. 678)

(Phoning relatives or staying in contact with them by the internet is also very useful.)

·        Kind treatment does not only mean treating those relatives kindly who have treated you kindly. This is actually an ‘exchange of treatment’. For example, sending a gift to the relative who has sent you a gift or going to the house of one who comes to yours. In actual fact, kind treatment means establishing ties with one who cuts off ties with you and caring about the relative who ignores you and stays away from you. (Ibid)

In order to learn thousands of Sunnahs, buy and read the two books published by Maktaba-tul-Madinah:

(1) Bahar-e-Shari’at part 16 containing 312 pages (2) Sunnatayn aur Adaab containing 120 pages. Another excellent way to learn Sunnahs is to travel with Madani Qafilahs of Dawat-e-Islami with the devotees of Rasool.

Lootnay rahmatayn Qafilay mayn chalo

Seekhnay Sunnatayn Qafilay mayn chalo

Haun gi hal mushkilayn Qafilay mayn chalo

Khatm haun shamatayn Qafilay mayn chalo

صَلُّوا عَلَى الْحَبِيب صَلَّى اللهُ تَعَالٰى عَلٰى مُحَمَّد

In conclusion, Islam places great importance on maintaining good relationships with relatives and strongly discourages breaking family ties. Silah-Rihmi is not merely a social custom; it is an important Islamic responsibility that brings the pleasure and mercy of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ. The Holy Quran and blessed Ahadees repeatedly encourage Muslims to treat their relatives with kindness, support them in times of need, forgive their mistakes and maintain relationships even when difficulties arise.

A true Muslim should not limit kindness only to those relatives who behave kindly in return. Real Silah-Rihmi means making an effort to maintain relationships even with those who ignore us, distance themselves from us or have treated us unfairly, provided there is no Shar'i reason to avoid them. Visiting relatives, greeting them with Salam, communicating with them, helping them financially or emotionally, giving gifts and showing compassion are all means of strengthening family bonds.

We should especially remember that parents have a very high status, followed by close relatives and other family members according to the closeness of their relationship. If misunderstandings or disputes arise, we should avoid stubbornness and take the initiative to reconcile whenever possible. Forgiveness and patience can transform disagreement into love and restore harmony within families.

In today's world, distance, busy lifestyles and misunderstandings can easily weaken family relationships. However, modern means of communication such as phone calls and the internet can be used positively to remain connected with relatives who live far away.

Therefore, let us make a sincere intention to abandon hatred, jealousy and unnecessary disputes and develop the habit of Silah-Rihmi. May Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ grant us the ability to respect our relatives, forgive their shortcomings, maintain broken relationships and fulfil the rights of our family members. May He bless our homes with love, mercy and harmony and grant us the strength to follow the teachings of the Holy Quran and Sunnah. آمين.