The Foundation of Brotherhood
Allah Almighty says:
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ
“The Muslims are brothers to each other.”
Our beloved Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ advised Muslims to
forge loving relationships with one another. He declared:
وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَا تَدْخُلُوا الْجَنَّةَ حَتَّى
تُؤْمِنُوا وَلَا تُؤْمِنُوا حَتَّى تَحَابُّوا
“I swear by He under whose control is my soul, you will
not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not become ‘perfect’
believers until you love one another.”
In life, we receive bouquets of love from
those around us, and their scent fragrances our lives. As flowers are not
without thorns, the thorns of animosity also find their way into our lives,
wounding our hearts and creating rifts between us and others. Whether at home,
work, school, college, madrasa, or Islamic seminary, our lives flourish when we
show love to one another, and flounder when hatred rears its head. Humans
naturally gravitate towards love and affection and away from hatred. We should
seek to increase this love amongst us and uproot hatred as much as possible.
Flourish when we show love — flounder when hatred rears its head.
Sincere, brotherly love cannot be hidden. Our
behavior, body language, cheerfulness, support—or lack of—and consistent
company of someone expose whether we love or hate our brother in Islam. If we
find a Muslim who loves us, we should pray for this love to be protected and
for it to blossom even more. God forbid, if someone shows hatred towards us, we
should introspectively consider why they hate us and what led to this.
Causes
That Lead to Hatred
Just as love does not come about from nothing,
hatred also has causes, two of which we shall discuss here.
1. Internal Causes
Jealousy, arrogance, and hostility can
engender hatred, but we cannot categorically figure out whether internal or
external causes have caused a person to hate us until they admit it. Without
convincing evidence, it is unfair for us to speculate and accuse someone of
jealousy or arrogance. If you feel someone hates you due to internal causes,
pray to Allah to change their hatred into love.
2. External Causes
Our weaknesses, shortcomings, or bad conduct
can cause others to despise us. Think to yourself:
1. Have I ever falsely blamed them for
something?
2. Have I ever belittled them?
3. Have I ever degraded them in front of others
for a minor mistake?
4. Have I physically hurt them?
5. Did they come to know of what evil words I
used for them behind their back?
6. Have I mocked them?
7. Did I fail to come to their aid when they
needed me despite being able to help?
8. When taking a loan, did I make weak excuses
when they asked for me to repay it?
9. Did I borrow something from them, use it to
the point of disrepair, and return it to them without even offering an apology?
10. Did I offer them false hopes in their time of
need and then disappear?
11. Did I aggressively criticize them?
12. Did I refer to them with bad names and
titles?
13. Did I ignore their arrival by deliberately
remaining busy on the phone, etc.?
14. When they were sad, did I comfort them?
15. Have I infringed any of their rights?
16. Did I interfere in their business or meddle
in their plans of marriage?
17. Did I never praise them for any good, whilst
always pointing out every mistake they made?
18. Did I ever break their heart by being harsh
with them?
19. Did I stop speaking with them when I no
longer needed them?
20. When speaking, did I constantly interrupt
them?
21. Did I taunt them about their failures?
22. Did I degrade them by declaring something to
do with them as inferior and lowly?
How
to Uproot Hatred
Enemies can become friends through good
character and hatred can transform into love with the permission of Allah. Here
are some tips.
1. Prayer Prayer is the weapon of the believer. This
should be the first port of call when addressing any issue, and it can be the
red sulphur for transforming hatred into love. The final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
would pray:
اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي حُبَّكَ وَحُبَّ مَنْ يَنْفَعُنِي حُبُّهُ
عِنْدَكَ، اللَّهُمَّ مَا رَزَقْتَنِي مِمَّا أُحِبُّ فَاجْعَلْهُ قُوَّةً لِي
فِيمَا تُحِبُّ، اللَّهُمَّ مَا زَوَيْتَ عَنِّي مِمَّا أُحِبُّ فَاجْعَلْهُ لِي
فَرَاغًا فِيمَا تُحِبُّ
“Dear Allah, grant me your love and the love of those
whose love will benefit me before You. Dear Allah, whatever you have nourished
me with from what I love, make it strength for me for that which You love. O
Allah, whatever you have withheld from what I love, keep me unworried
concerning it and keep me busy in that which you love.”
2. Salam Spread peace and love by greeting all Muslims
with salam whether you know them or not. The final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
said, “Shall I not inform you of something that will bring about love amongst
you if you were to act upon it? Make salam commonplace amongst yourselves.”
“Make salam commonplace amongst yourselves.”
3. Gifts Give suitable gifts to your fellow believer
according to your financial means and the scenario at hand. Gifting to one
another brings about love, as mentioned by the final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ:
تَهَادَوْا تَحَابُّوا
“Gift to one another, love will increase mutually.”
Gifts bring about love.
4. Support Them in Their Time of
Need The Messenger of Allah صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
said: “The example of the friendship, mercy, and compassion displayed by
Muslims towards one another is like a body. When any part of the body is
afflicted with illness, the entire body is then affected with fever and
sleeplessness.”
5. Seeking Forgiveness Forgiveness calms the turbulent storms of
hatred. If someone is upset because of something you did, apologize and seek
their forgiveness. The final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ said: Whoever has
wronged another person in regards to his reputation or something else, he
should seek forgiveness from him before the Day in which there will neither be
dirham nor dinar. If he has virtuous deeds, they will be taken from him
according to the amount of oppression which he has done, and if he has no good
deeds, the sins of the oppressed person will be loaded on him according to the
level of oppression.
6. Hasten Towards Reconciliation
Disagreements and disputes are expected among
family and friends. When tensions do arise, be the first to reconcile. You have
nothing to lose and everything to gain. The final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
said:
لَا يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلَاثَةِ
أَيَّامٍ وَالسَّابِقُ السَّابِقُ إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ
“It is not permissible for a Muslim to cut ties with his
brother ‘in faith’ for more than three days. The quickest to reconcile will be
the quickest to Paradise.”
7. Respecting Elders and Being
Kind to the Young Many doors of
hatred can be sealed shut if we respect elders and show tender kindness to the
young. The master of Madinah, the Messenger of Allah صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, “Whoever is not
merciful to our young ones or does not acknowledge the rights of our elders, is
not from us.”
8. Gentleness Tenderness beautifies a person. It also brings
about love in the hearts of others. The Messenger of Allah صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
said, “Gentleness beautifies anything in which it is found.”
9. Humbleness Humbleness does not degrade a person but
uplifts them. The final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ explained:
مَنْ تَوَاضَعَ لِلَّهِ رَفَعَهُ اللَّهُ
“Whoever is humble for Allah's sake, he is granted high
ranks by Him.”
10. Decorum Out of Respect for Other
Muslims Respect and dignify other
Muslims, adopting the highest level of decorum. You will be respected as much
as you respect others.
11. Feeding People We all know the adage, “The way to a man's
heart is through his stomach.” Bear in mind, feeding Muslims is an act of great
reward. Feed your Muslim brothers with good intentions, and you will find a
place in their heart.
12. Visit Them During Illness
and Console Them Upon a Bereavement People
never forget if you were there for them during testing times. You will find
great reward and a place in every heart if you visit others during illness or
support them when someone passes away. The final Prophet صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
said: “If a Muslim visits another sick Muslim in the morning, then until the
evening, or if he visits in the evening, then until the morning, 70,000 angels
seek forgiveness for him, and he shall have a garden in Paradise.”
Another hadith declares: Allah will dress he who consoles a saddened
person with the garb of taqwa, and He shall have mercy upon his soul from all
others. Whoever consoles a person afflicted with calamity, Allah will have him
wear the attire of Paradise, the price of which cannot be matched even by the
(entire) world.
There are many other virtuous acts that can
win hearts and foster love among people. When love enters the heart, hatred is
automatically uprooted. Our job is to try our best, and success is given by
Allah Almighty.
May Allah allow the
Muslims to love one another for His sake.
آمِين بِجَاهِ خَاتَمِ
النَّبِيِّين صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَآلِهِ وَسَلَّمَ
References
1.
[Kanz-ul-Iman (translation of Quran)] (Part 26, Surah Al-Hujuraat, verse 10)
2. Ibn
Majah, vol. 4, p. 200, Hadith 3692
3.
Al-Tirmidhi, vol. 5, p. 296, Hadith 3502
4. Muslim,
p. 51, Hadith 194
5. Al-Adab
al-Mufrad, p. 168, Hadith 607
6. Muslim,
p. 1071, Hadith 6586
7.
Al-Bukhari, vol. 2, p. 128, Hadith 2449
8. Al-Zuhd
Ibn Mubarak, p. 252, Hadith 726
9.
Al-Tirmidhi, vol. 3, p. 369, Hadith 1926
10. Muslim,
p. 1073, Hadith 6602
11. Shu'ab
al-Iman, vol. 6, p. 276, Hadith 8140
12.
Al-Tirmidhi, vol. 2, p. 290, Hadith 971
13.
Al-Mu'jam al-Awsat, vol. 6, p. 429, Hadith 9292
















