30 Sunnahs And Manners Of Hospitality

Eight hadith of the Prophet ﷺ

1.      "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should respect his guest."²

Muftī Aḥmad Yār Khān رحمة الله عليه comments on this hadith by saying, "Respecting a guest means to meet them smilingly and in excellent fashion. One must also personally arrange food and other amenities for them if possible."³

Reference:

² Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī: 6018
³ Mirāt al-Manājīḥ, vol. 6, p. 52

2.      "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not cause pain to his guest."¹

3.      "When a guest comes to someone, he brings his sustenance along with him. When he leaves, he becomes a cause of the host's sins being forgiven."²

4.      "He who established salah, paid zakat, performed ḥajj, fasted in Ramadan and hospitably hosted his guests, shall enter Paradise."³

5.      "He who does not care for a guest (despite being financially capable) has no goodness."⁴

6.      "It is foolish of a person to make his guest work."⁵

7.      "The sunnah is for a person to see their guest off from their door."⁶

8.      "Goodness comes more quickly to a house where food is eaten than a knife to a camel's hump."⁷

This means blessings remain in the home in which guests, pilgrims, and visitors come to eat. Otherwise in normal circumstances, the members of every family eat in their home.

Reference:

¹ Ikrām al-Ḍayf, p. 25, Hadith: 13
² Kanz al-ʿUmmāl, vol. 9, p. 107, Hadith: 25831
³ Muʿjam al-Kabīr: 12692
⁴ Musnad Imam Aḥmad: 17424
⁵ Jāmiʿ al-Ṣaghīr: 4686
⁶ Sunan Ibn Mājah: 3358
⁷ Sunan Ibn Mājah: 3357

The hump of a camel does not have any bones and is entirely made from fat. A knife can quickly cut through it with ease from top to bottom. This is why a comparison was made with this. In other words, goodness and blessings swiftly reach such a home.¹

9.      Lady Khadījah رضي الله عنها beautifully explained, "The Prophet ﷺ treats his relatives excellently, extends hospitality to travellers, and to uphold truth and justice, helps everyone in their troubles and difficulties."²

10.  "O Messenger of Allah!", a person once exclaimed, "I visited someone who did not host me at all. If he comes to me, should I treat him the same?" In reply it was declared, "No, be hospitable to him."³

11.  ʿAṭāʾ رحمة الله عليه writes, "When Prophet Ibrāhīm عليه السلام had nobody to share food with, he would search for someone at a distance of one or two miles."⁴

Reference:

¹ Mirāt al-Manājīḥ, vol. 6, p. 67
² Sīrat-e-Muṣṭafā, p. 109, abridged
³ Jāmiʿ al-Tirmidhī: 2013
⁴ Tanbīh al-Ghāfilīn, p. 249

12.  ʿIkrimah رحمة الله عليه said: "Prophet Ibrāhīm عليه السلام was famously known as Abū Ḍayfān (greatly hospitable) and awaited guests at the four doors of his home."¹

13.  The Companion Anas bin Mālik رضي الله عنه explains, "Angels of mercy do not come to the house in which guests do not come."²

14.  Muftī Aḥmad Yār Khān رحمة الله عليه said:

Our guest is he who visits from outside (from another city or country) regardless of whether we know them or not. He who comes to meet us from our own area of residence or city for just a few minutes is a visitor but not a guest. He should be met well (shown good manners, given water or tea etc.), but he should not be given a feast normally prepared for one's guests.

Finally, an individual who is not an acquaintance and who comes to us for his work is not a guest. He is similar to someone who goes to a ruler or a muftī with his case or in search of knowledge. Such an individual is not the guest of the ruler or muftī.³

15.  A guest should keep his host's schedule and responsibilities in mind.

Reference:

¹ Tanbīh al-Ghāfilīn, p. 249
² Iḥyā al-ʿUlūm (Urdu), vol. 2, p. 16 - p. 43
³ Mirāt al-Manājīḥ, vol. 6, p. 54

16.  Allah's Messenger ﷺ declared:

Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should honour his guest. The guest should be afforded a day's worth of jāʾizah (a day's worth of formally being catered for, given food, and looked after as much as possible), three days of being hosted (after the first day, whatever food is present can simply be given), and whatever is offered beyond that is regarded as charity.

It is not permissible for a guest to stay with his host for extended periods that place the latter in difficulty.¹

17.  When you go to someone as a guest, it is better to take gifts for the host or their children according to your means with good intentions.

18.  Muftī Amjad ʿAlī Aʿẓamī رحمة الله عليه writes:

Four things are necessary for a guest:

i.        He should sit wherever he is offered a seat.

ii.      He should be happy with whatever he is given. He should not say, "I eat better than this at my home" or other phrases like this.

iii.    He should not leave without the permission of the host.

¹ Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī: 6135

iv.    When he leaves, he should pray for the host.¹

19.  Regarding the house or food etc., a guest should neither make any kind of criticism nor give any kind of false praise.

20.  The host should not ask questions which may force his guest to lie, such as, "How is our home?" or "Did you like our food or not?" The guest may not like the food or home but be forced into lying and issuing false praise. If this happens, the guest shall be sinful.

21.  The host should not ask the guest if the latter ate to his fill. Again, the guest may be forced to lie. The guest may be used to eating less or not eat to his fill due to medical reasons. Yet, to avoid his host's insistence, he may be forced into lying by saying, "I have eaten to my fill."

22.  Sometimes, a person is assigned to keep putting food onto the plate of the guest. This can trouble the guest. For example, the guest wants to avoid eating meat, but someone keeps putting pieces of meat on his plate.

23.  The host should infrequently ask his guest to eat more but not insist on this, lest the guest eat excessively due to insistence and suffer harm of some kind.²

Reference:

¹ Bahār-e-Sharīʿat, vol. 3, p. 394 – Fatāwā Hindiyyah, vol. 5, p. 344
² ʿAalamgeeri, vol. 5, p. 344

24.  Imam Ghazālī رحمة الله عليه has said, "If one's friend is not eating, kindly ask them to. Yet, do not say this more than thrice, as this would be forceful and excessive."¹

25.  The host should neither be completely quiet nor disappear after placing the food and remain present instead.²

26.  Do not get angry with others in front of your guests.³

27.  The host should be busy entertaining his guest, as this is the sunnah of Prophet Ibrāhīm عليه السلام. This responsibility should not be delegated to others. He who eats with his (Muslim) brothers shall not give account (on the Day of Judgement) regarding the food he consumed.⁴

28.  Imam Ghazālī رحمة الله عليه adds:

When someone who eats less eats with others, he should begin eating after some time, take small morsels, and eat slowly. This way, he shall eat with others until the end of the meal.⁵

29.  If someone stops eating for others to be impressed with him and consider him pious, he is being ostentatious.

Reference:

¹ Iḥyā-ul-ʿUloom, vol. 2, p. 9
² ʿAalamgeeri, vol. 5, p. 345
³ ʿAalamgeeri, vol. 5, p. 345
⁴ Qoot-ul-Quloob, vol. 2, p. 306
⁵ Mirqat-ul-Mafatih, vol. 8, p. 84, under the Hadith: 4254

30.  If a host eats with his guest and knows that if he stops eating, his guest may not eat to their fill out of shyness, the former is allowed to eat more than their appetite. However, he should not eat so much that he ends up with an upset stomach.¹

صَلُّوا عَلَى الْحَبِيْبِ صَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلٰى مُحَمَّد

Reference:

¹ Durr-e-Mukhtar, vol. 6, p. 561