Sunnahs And Manners Regarding Ties Of Kinship

13 Sunnahs And Manners 

1.      Allah declares, "وَاتَّقُوا اللّٰهَ الَّذِيْ تَسَاءَلُوْنَ بِهٖ وَالْأَرْحَامَ" ² – "Fear Allah Whose name you mention when you ask one another, and (observe) familial relations." Tafsīr Mazharī explains this as Allah declaring we must not cut ties with our family members.³

Seven hadith of the Prophet ﷺ

2.      "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain ties of kinship."⁴

3.      "On the Day of Judgement, three types of people shall be under the shade of Allah's ʿArsh: he who treats relatives with kindness [will be one of them]."⁵

Reference:

¹ Iḥyā al-ʿUlūm, vol. 2, pp. 4-8
² Al-Quran, Sūrat al-Nisāʾ, verse 1
³ Tafsīr Mazharī, vol. 2, p. 212
⁴ Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī: 6138
⁵ Musnad al-Firdaws, vol. 2, p. 99, Hadith: 2526

4.      "He who breaks ties of kinship will not enter Paradise."¹

5.      "The best of people is he who recites Quran abundantly, is deeply pious, enjoins good and forbids evil profusely, and who maintains ties of kinship the most."²

6.      "Undoubtedly, the best charity is that given to a relative who harbours hidden enmity."³

7.      "Allah's mercy does not descend upon a nation containing someone who cuts ties of kinship."⁴

8.      "He who wants a mansion (in Paradise) and wants to have his ranks raised, should forgive whoever oppresses him, give to whoever deprives him, and make ties with whoever cuts them with him."⁵

9.      The jurist Abū al-Layth Samarqandī رحمة الله عليه writes:

Reference:

¹ Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī: 5984
² Musnad Imam Aḥmad: 27504
³ Musnad Imam Aḥmad: 23589
⁴ Al-Zawājir, vol. 2, p. 153
⁵ Al-Mustadrak: 3215

There are ten advantages of treating relatives well:

Allah becomes pleased, angels become joyous, Muslims praise the person who does this, Satan is made sad, one's lifespan increases, blessings are granted in sustenance, deceased (Muslim) family members become cheerful, mutual love grows, and one's reward increases after death due to people's prayers for him.¹

10.  Treating relatives with kindness means establishing a relationship with them and dealing with them kindly. The ummah unanimously agrees maintaining ties of kinship is necessary (wājib), and severing said ties is haram.

So, with whom should one maintain ties of kinship? Some Islamic scholars say this entails dhū raḥm maḥram, whilst others say it connotes the dhū raḥm, whether they are maḥram or not.

The latter opinion is more widely quoted. Prophetic hadith ordain for us to unconditionally treat relatives well. The Quran also mentions dhawi al-qurbā (family members) unrestrictedly, saying they are all to be treated well and kept ties with.

Yet, as many different types of familial relationships exist, there are specific parameters as to whom is given priority in being treated well. Parents take precedence. Then comes the rank of the dhū raḥm maḥram (relatives with whom marriage is perpetually haram due to blood ties). After this come the remaining relatives based on how closely related they are.²

Reference:

¹ Tanbīh al-Ghāfilīn, p. 73
² Radd al-Muḥtār, vol. 9, p. 678

11.  There are many ways one can go about conducting themselves well with their relatives. This includes giving them gifts, helping when they are in need, greeting them with salaam, meeting with them, spending time in their company, conversing, and being gracious in character.¹

12.  If one is abroad, they should maintain contact with their relatives, lest any estrangement develops.

One should also return to his country and meet them. In this way, mutual love will increase.²

13.  Good treatment with relatives does not mean you behave well with someone if they behave well with you. This is actually an exchange, which means you only send them gifts or speak well if they do.

Keeping ties of kinship means if your family break ties, you make new ones with them; if they desire to leave you, in return one keeps the rights of his family in mind and maintains a relationship.³

صَلُّوا عَلَى الْحَبِيْبِ صَلَّى اللّٰهُ عَلٰى مُحَمَّد

Reference:

¹ Durar, vol. 1, p. 323
² Radd al-Muḥtār, vol. 9, p. 678
³ Ibid

Maintaining ties of kinship (Ṣilat al-Raḥim) is one of the most beautiful and essential teachings of Islam. It is not merely a social responsibility but a sacred act of worship that brings a believer closer to Allah Almighty. The Quran repeatedly commands Muslims to fear Allah and uphold family relationships, while the blessed Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ explains the immense rewards awaiting those who fulfil this obligation. Likewise, severe warnings have been given to those who intentionally sever family ties, highlighting that the preservation of relationships is among the fundamental principles of Islamic character.

The teachings discussed in these thirteen Sunnahs demonstrate that family relationships are built upon mercy, compassion, forgiveness, patience, and selflessness. A believer does not maintain ties with relatives only when it is convenient or when kindness is reciprocated. Rather, true Ṣilat al-Raḥim is shown when one continues to visit, support, forgive, and care for relatives even if they are distant, unkind, or neglectful. Such noble conduct reflects sincerity of faith and complete trust in Allah's promise of reward.

One of the greatest lessons from these teachings is that every act of kindness towards relatives carries both worldly and spiritual benefits. Visiting parents, helping siblings, supporting needy family members, giving gifts, offering sincere advice, exchanging greetings, and remaining connected through regular communication are all means of strengthening family bonds. Even a simple phone call, a kind message, or a heartfelt duʿā can revive relationships that have weakened over time. Islam encourages believers to make the first step toward reconciliation instead of waiting for others to do so.

The rewards of maintaining kinship are extraordinary. The Prophet ﷺ informed us that those who uphold family ties are among the people deserving Allah's special mercy and that they will receive immense honour on the Day of Judgment. Scholars have also mentioned numerous blessings associated with this noble deed, including an increase in sustenance, blessings in one's lifespan, the love and respect of people, happiness among righteous relatives, and continuous rewards even after death through the prayers of family members. These blessings remind us that serving our relatives is an investment whose rewards continue in this world and the Hereafter.

At the same time, Islam strongly warns against breaking family ties. Hatred, jealousy, pride, disputes over wealth, inheritance, or personal misunderstandings often become reasons for estrangement within families. However, these temporary worldly matters should never become more important than obeying Allah Almighty. A believer should always strive to forgive, overlook mistakes, control anger, and seek reconciliation, knowing that pleasing Allah is far greater than satisfying one's ego. The person who takes the initiative to restore relationships earns honour in the sight of Allah, even if others fail to respond positively.

In today's fast-paced world, maintaining kinship has become more challenging than ever. Busy schedules, migration to different countries, work commitments, and increasing dependence on technology often reduce personal interaction among family members. Nevertheless, modern communication provides many opportunities to remain connected. Regular phone calls, video conversations, messages, family gatherings, and occasional visits can all help preserve love and affection. Distance should never become an excuse for neglecting one's relatives, especially parents and close family members who have rights over us.

Another important lesson from these Sunnahs is that family relationships should be maintained with sincerity rather than expecting something in return. Kindness should not be based on reciprocity but on seeking the pleasure of Allah Almighty. Whether relatives are wealthy or poor, young or old, supportive or difficult, every believer should fulfil their responsibilities with patience and good manners. Such conduct reflects the noble example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who consistently demonstrated mercy, forgiveness, and generosity towards both relatives and the wider community.

Ultimately, maintaining ties of kinship strengthens not only individual families but also the entire Muslim society. Strong families produce compassionate individuals, united communities, and stable generations. When relatives support one another during times of hardship, celebrate together in times of happiness, and forgive one another after disagreements, love and harmony flourish. These values create an environment where faith, respect, and mutual care become deeply rooted.

May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to honour our parents, respect our elders, care for our younger relatives, forgive those who wrong us, and maintain strong family ties throughout our lives. May He fill our homes with love, unity, mercy, and blessings, protect us from the sin of severing kinship, and include us among those who receive His pleasure and the shade of His Throne on the Day of Judgment. May He unite our hearts in obedience to Him and enable us to follow the blessed Sunnah of His Beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in every aspect of our lives. Āmīn.